The Three Secret Keys To Unlock A Man’s Heart

Men are weird. They do weird things, they think weird things and when it comes to relationships, they plain act weird.

As a woman, you draw deep feelings and emotion from relationships. It’s one of the ways you meet your need for feeling something deep, meaningful and important.

Unlike women, men don’t automatically get their need met for meaning and fulfillment just by being in a relationship. In fact, it’s extremely rare for a man to feel this way. Men have a yearning that pulls them in another direction.

He has a yearning telling him to seek adventure. To be seen as a provider and as a success.

If his relationship with you does not satisfy that inner pull, he will feel as if there is something missing. A part of him will always be trying to pull away. Trying to seek someone or something else to fill that need, even though he may still be in love with you.

If you want the keys to unlock a man’s heart, you need to trigger the following three drives in your man.

Drive 1: The Need For Meaningful Achievement

Men value power, competency, efficiency and achievement. They are always doing things to prove themselves and develop their power and skills. Their sense of self is defined through their ability to achieve results.

Achieving Goals is very important for a man because it is a way for him to prove his competence and feel good about himself.

The way to use this key is to give your man a mission and the best way you can do this is to ask your man for help. Often, when a woman tells a man about a problem, she wants him to listen to her compassionately and be understanding. She is NOT asking for a solution.

Most men do not understand this and immediately look to Solve the crisis and be the hero that saves his damsel in distress.

The key here is to actually be a damsel in distress. Nothing makes a man happier than to help the woman he loves.
Drive 2: The need to provide

“A man should be a good provider”

We’ve all heard this before. It remains in our modern society and in the male psyche.

Now to be clear, making your man feel like a provider is not about getting him to buy you stuff or take you to dinner. While those things can be used to make him feel like a provider the real key is showing him opportunities to make you happy.

These can be as simple as asking him to open a jar for you, asking him to drive, having him walk you to your car because it will make you feel safe.

The way you ask makes a big difference too. If you simply say “can you walk me to my car”, that may not be enough and might even be considered an inconvenience by him. But, if you were to say “can you walk me to my car, there’s this creepy guy out there and I’d feel much safer if you came with me.”

This will trigger his drive to be a provider and for you and he’ll LOVE the opportunity.

Drive 3: The Need To Be Respected

Emerson Eggerichs, asked 400 men a simple question. “If you were forced to choose one of the following, which would you prefer to endure…to be left alone and unloved in the world, or to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone?”

74% said that if they were forced to choose, they would prefer feeling alone and unloved rather than feeling disrespected and inadequate.

In other words, men would rather be respected than loved.

Please, keep in mind, like most things, men see respect differently than women.

A man’s heart longs for a deep level of respect from the people he chooses to draw into his inner circle. It would not be going too far to say that he wants to be revered as powerful and effective.

He wants to be taken seriously as a capable provider who has many talents and skills. And that’s why showing a special kind of respect can be a key to his heart.

It doesn’t take much at all to bring out the best in your man by feeding him a diet of respect that allows him to thrive. All you have to do is take the things you already say to him and add a little bit of respect to it.

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Here’ an example.

If you’re stuck in traffic, instead of saying something like “This traffic is going to make us so late. Don’t you think there’s a faster way?” say “You know this area pretty well. Do you think there’s another route with less traffic?”

The first way he’ll see as questioning his judgment. Questioning his decisions, judgment and role as a leader are a sure way to create a feeling of subtle disrespect. Men want to be perceived as competent leaders.

They want your suggestions and feedback, but they want it in a way that makes them feel you believe in them and trust their decisions. The second way taps into the idea of an alternate route by embedding the suggestion in a compliment about him knowing the area.

By offering your suggestion embedded in a compliment you show him you trust his judgment and his role as the leader.

When you use all three of these basic male drives you will have the keys to unlock his heart and make him yours forever.