[Rebuttal] How Long Should You Wait To Have Sex?

“The View”, is an extremely popular women’s show with the goal of helping women in many aspects of their lives.

They typically know their stuff and I have a healthy respect for their program and the fantastic content they provide.

But I don’t agree with this “How Long Should You Wait To Have Sex?video … at least not entirely.

Give it a watch and I’ll show you what I mean…

In this video you get 5 women’s opinion’s on how long to wait before sleeping with a man. While agree with what was said about every woman and situation being different, I strongly disagree with waiting a long time to have sex. I’ll explain why in just a minute…

At one point one of the women talks about a friend who does a lot of online dating, and sleeps with men very quickly. Then she wonders why they disappear. Another woman says “Their not going to buy the cow if you’re handing out the milk for free.”

The problem with this thinking is, there are many different reasons a man doesn’t want to continue with a woman. For example, maybe the sex was bad and he’s lost interest. Maybe, the woman become to needy and clingy (this is a surefire way to chase a man away regardless of sex).

Later in the video, Sunny Hostin says she probably waited too long to which Sara Haines replies “What do you mean you waited too long, you have two kids and you’re still together. That’s ridiculous!

Just because two people are still married with two kids does NOT mean they are happily married. I was married for 16 years with a 6 year old son when I got divorced AND I was unhappy for years before that. Based on Sunny Hostin’s logic, 2 years before I got divorced everything was great because I was still married with a child.

Let’s face it, the divorce rate is 50% or higher and I’d be willing to bet the number of unhappily married people that stick it out is probably at least 50%, meaning maybe 25% of all married couples are happy. Not a very promising statistic.

There is a whole lot more to a happy marriage than being together with two kids. In fact it’s a sad state of affairs to think that is a good determining factor of staying together!

In my humble opinion, sex and passion are critical to the success of a relationship. The challenge for most women is, when they wait to have sex, they’ve become even more committed to the relationship. So even if sex isn’t great they will stick it out.

If they eventually do get married, the passion and sex are certain to fizzle out. While sex and passion need to be worked on (just like every aspect of a relationship), if it wasn’t good to begin with it rarely get’s better.

I’ve spoken with hundreds of divorced women who told me the number one reason they got divorced was there was no passion and there never really was any.

By having sex earlier in a relationship you can determine whether or not you have passionate, sexual chemistry.

The trick, is to go into the sexual part of your relationship not as you giving something up to him (sex), nor giving more of yourself to him because you had sex. It’s simply to see if you are sexually compatible and if you’re not move on. If you are then you can certainly slow things down a bit.

I do NOT know any man who’s had crazy great sex with a woman and then just “walks away”. Personally, I’ve had sex early with almost every woman I’ve dated. When the sex was good and the chemistry was there, I continued to pursue the woman I was with.

If sex was bad, then regardless of the chemistry, I walked away from the relationship, because without a good sexual relationship a relationship is doomed from the start. Remember, when I say doomed I mean you and/or your man are in an unhappy relationship regardless of whether you are still married and have kids.

You should not simply want a man who sticks around even if you are both (or at least you are) unhappy.

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