How To Tell If He’s The One

is he the one for meFinding the right man is no easy task. Many women have a clear idea of the exact kind of guy (some even have lists) they want to fall in love with. Others feel they’ll know him when they see him.

Sometimes women are so busy qualifying a guy against their complex criteria, they overlook all the good that exists in the relationship.

The problem is, when trying to determine which man is best, women typically focus on the negative.

You look for all things he’s NOT doing and how he DOESN’T measure up, so you can move on if needed.

While that’s OK. It can also overshadow all the good in him that you might be taking for granted.

Make sure you don’t walk away from a fantastic man simply because you were too focused on disqualifying him instead of qualifying him.

1. You’re Physically Attracted To Him AND The Sex Is Good.

This may sound obvious but I can’t tell you how many divorced women I’ve met who told me their man was great but there was no passion.

Without passion you simply have a roommate of the opposite sex. Imagine spending 5, 10, 15 years with a man and never having sex. I know that sounds crazy but I know many people who have (I myself was in a similar relationship).

Now, I’m not telling you to jump into bed with every man you’re attracted to. What I am saying is there needs to be passion and good chemistry at the beginning.

Attraction and chemistry do not grow over time, if anything the opposite happens as you both become more comfortable with each other. You may have to work together to get the spark back, but if you never had it, you probably never will.

2. Personality Fit

We’ve all heard the expression opposites attract but, the reality is…opposites do not attract. We’re attracted to people who are like us. Yes we want to have some differences or it becomes boring but…

Think about your closest girl friends. Are you friendly with them because of all the differences you have? I’m willing to bet it’s all the things you have in common.

Let me give you an example. I recently met an incredible woman who I’ve fallen head over heels for. We get along famously and we spend a lot of time together. (we both work from home).

While we have some differences, we are more alike than different. We both are very spiritual, without being religious. We’re both homebodies, we’d love sitting at home snuggling up and watching TV together.

Many of our friends ask us to go out and we turn them down because we’d rather spend our time together at home. What do you think would happen if she was more a homebody and I was more a go out with friends kinda guy? We’d probably start to drift apart.

Now, I realize there’s more to a relationship than going out or staying home but…

If most of the things you share are opposites. It won’t be long before you realize it’s not going to work out.

3. You Smile And Laugh Together.

Listen, life can be hard. Relationships can be hard. One of the reasons you get together with someone is for the joy and happiness you feel by being with them.

A dear friend of mine always said “Laughter is the best medicine” and he’s right. If you’re not laughing and having fun together, especially in the beginning, then you may want to reconsider your relationship.

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4. Do You Feel Lonely When You Spend Time Alone With Him?”

If you do, the connection at the deepest level either never took root, or died off as you learned more about each other over time. 

Let’s face it. When you’re in love with someone, you think about them all the time. You want to spend every moment you can with them. And, when you’re together it should feel like it’s you and him against the world.

If you feel yourself longing to get out and be around other people when spending time with him, he’s not the one.

5. He Communicates With You.

Communication is the key to any successful relationship. If one party constantly shuts down, avoids a conversation or gets angry, there’s something wrong there.

Life has its ups and downs and so do relationships. They key to communication is to make sure you (and he) don’t come across as being critical.

Let me give you an example. When I was married, I would try to surprise my ex-wife with dinner plans, a vacation or something. Every time I tried, she would complain about the restaurant, the place I chose for vacation etc.

Now, how long do you think I kept trying to do these things for her? Not very. It’s not because I didn’t want to do these things for her, it’s because I never felt she appreciated what I did.

When I spoke to her about it, she simply brushed it off or made an excuse as to why her behavior was OK. (Men do the same thing)

All she had to do is tell me she understood, that she would do her best to be more appreciative and things would have been fine.

You need to be able to communicate with each other without being defensive and without attacking the other person.

There’s another situation that comes up which has women asking if he’s the one and it’s a bit more complicated.

Let me explain…

Many women may notice their boyfriend or husband has become less romantic over time.

Relationships change in emotional intensity over time.

As your relationship matures, the “romantic stage” comes to an end. Some women are sad or fearful during this shift because they wonder if his interest is dissipating. You may wonder if he intends to invest in you and treat you well in a long-term relationship.

The level of energy required for the romantic phase of a relationship cannot and should not realistically continue indefinitely. I’m not saying the romance should end, it just will slow down.

For the two of you to become true life partners, the passion should always remain, but the expression of that love and passion will change as the relationship deepens. 

As the relationship mature, you begin to move away from trying to impress each other. You move toward a feeling that the relationship is something you both own and feel secure in. You both become comfortable in each other’s presence and can truly be yourselves.

Chris Rock talks about when a man a woman begin to date, you don’t meet that person, you meet their representative and it’s true. In the beginning, you are both on your best behavior and go out of your way to impress the other person.

Maybe he flips on the TV and puts his feet up in your apartment rather than spending every moment of his visit following you around like a puppy. 

If he is still treating you with deep respect and showing a continued interest in sharing his life with you, there’s no reason to bolt. You’ve probably found a good match. 

If you’ve decided to invest your lives in each other, there’s something you should know. Love is never enough for a man. 

There’s a missing ingredient if you plan to keep his love and commitment forever.

This is such an important topic, there’s a powerful video presentation I want to show you so you can have the best relationship possible. Click the link below to watch it now.

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